They’re Watching!

Tonight my wife will be treating our grandchildren to the pantomime, that curious British mix of humorous, slapstick, musical drama that has entertained Christmas audiences for the last couple of hundred years. A type of theatrical performance which absolutely baffles foreigners because of its tradition of men playing women and women playing men and of all the ludicrous things that happen during it.

I shall be resting indoors with the two dogs enjoying the peace and quiet of an empty house. In my mind’s eye, however, I will hear our grandchildren shouting out at the top of their voices, ‘He’s behind you!’ or ‘Oh, no he isn’t!’ And I can visualise them ducking when the water, or pretend water, is thrown at the audience or their surprise when the genie suddenly pops up in a cascade of pyrotechnics. I image also their reaching out desperate to catch the sweets that are always thrown out by one or more of the leading characters.

These are happy memories from the past. Memories that will not apply to children going to see a production of Aladdin in Barrow, Cumbria, because the killjoys and jobsmiths in the local council have forbidden the throwing of water and sweets or the customary pyrotechnics on health and safety grounds.

A council official, who obviously is not an aficionado of pantomime, said that the rules were necessary to ensure no members of the audience were injured during the performance. Christopher Biggins, Britain's most famous pantomime dame, correctly summed the situation up as ‘idiotic and ludicrous!’

What’s the betting that Barrow Borough Council send one of their jobsmiths to watch Aladdin every day to check that the rules are being followed?

Watch out! He’s behind you!
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Something Interesting

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Oh dear, what sad reading this morning’s newspapers present. Talk of strikes, civil disobedience, child abuse, ‘Teflon’ Blair being presented with the American Liberty Medal and a pop star wearing a dress made of raw meat.

None of these subjects make for good reading, and I looked for something much more interesting.

I found it in the striking photograph of the Crosby Garrett Helmet, a Roman bronze helmet complete with face mask, dug up by a metal detectorist in Cumbria in May. Worn by an official of Christie’s, the auction house, the mask resembles those worn by the cybermen in a Doctor Who episode.

Frighteningly robotic in its blank stare, the mask, surmounted by a griffin crest, is said to have been worn by a Roman soldier, possibly with streamers attached to it. It is thought to have been worn during special field events with an elaborately painted shield, embroidered tunic, thigh-guards and greaves. Christie’s describe it as an 'extraordinary example of Roman metalwork at its zenith' and say it might fetch as much as £300,000 at auction.

One Roman commentator says that cavalrymen wore them as a mark of rank or excellence in horsemanship. Cavalry were divided into two teams taking turns to attack and defend during the events which accompanied religious festivals and which were also put on for the benefit of visiting officials.

If such masks were worn in combat, one can imagine the frightening aspect they must have presented to an enemy especially if coupled with the screaming ‘draco’ standards that some of them carried.

It is to be hoped that this amazing helmet and mask will be purchased by someone who can keep it in Britain for display.
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