Bonkers!

.
A demonstration of how how hidebound with regulations Britain has become, along with a fear of breaking them, can be found with the redundancy notice sent to a 13-year old paperboy in Bedfordshire.

The lad was sent a redundancy notice along with a cheque for ‘one week's pay in lieu of notice, which equates to £6.53 (subject to tax and NI)’. The boy said when asked by reporters, ‘I felt annoyed and upset.’ I can understand his feelings.

What surprises me is, not the redundancy notice or the apparant lack of prior consultatation, but the absence of confirmation that the lad had a Criminal Records Check before he was allowed to put newspapers into people’s letterboxes, or that he wore the correct headgear when riding his cycle which had also been checked over for Health & Safety breaches and that he only went out with a dozen newspapers at a time to prevent him from getting a hernia lifting them or ...

See what I mean? I’m at it now!
.

Groan!

.
Oh dear just when we thought we had got rid of him, ‘Bronco’ Brown announces that 'Teflon Tone’ Blair would be an ‘excellent candidate’ for the first President of the European Council.

The Lisbon Treaty has yet to be ratified, of course, and it ought not to be forgotten that the British people have so far not been able to express their opinion in the referendum that Blair promised us but has so far been withheld. In this respect, William Hague is spot on when he says, ‘It leaves people feeling they have not been dealt with honestly and plainly.’

I’m no pollster, but I doubt the majority of the British people would now vote for the Lisbon Treaty given the opportunity.

And I’d bet that even fewer of us would want to see ‘Teflon Tone’ as President!
.

They Just Haven’t Got It!

.
The saga of MPs expenses rumbles on with one former minister being made to apologise to Parliament about his expense account and another being told to repay over £63,000. Wow!

In a sense, these instances are just a diversion from the main message which seems to be coming out of Parliament. This is that MPs are said to be objecting to new expense rules being imposed on them without their being able to vote on them.

Ignoring the fact that no employee in the normal world gets the opportunity to ‘vote’ on what their pay and expenses should be, it seems to me that MPs just haven’t got the message that we in the real world think that too many of them have had their snouts in the trough and, in any event, have access to far too many expenses.

MPs should get real and join the real world that the rest of us live in!
.

Peace & Quiet

.
We've been away for a few days in northern France and away from 'Bronco' Brown and his crew, government plans that suggest every one of us should have a criminal records check, the dire financial situation, the possibility that the EU may introduce a European income tax and all the other nonsenses going on at the moment.

We've been staying in a gîte in the little village of Beussent, around thirty miles south of Calais and tucked away in a lovely tree-lined valley not far from the walled town of Montreuil, and so situated that you might think you were a world away from the hustle and bustle of our usual lives. Which is how it should be when one is on holiday.

One of the things that I enjoy most of all is peace and quiet, and that is exactly what we can expect from our favourite gîte (see www.clubhousegites.com) which is tucked away in a lane just around the corner from the old mill through which races the local river in which can occasionally be seen cranes and herons. A short distance away is the village church and the bar with its most excellent gourmet restaurant, ‘Restaurant Lignier’.

So why am I telling you this and making what seems to be a blatant advertisement? It is because of what happened this morning.

What happened this morning? The answer is absolutely nothing.

Therein lies the beauty of life in Beussent and, as the Americans are fond of saying, I'd like to share it with you.

The gîtes have a no-smoking policy (which is fair enough) and, because I like my reviving cup of coffee and a cigarette first thing in the morning, I take them outside the apartment and settle for a while in total tranquillity and away from the light and noise pollution of where we live.

Until the street lights flicker into life at six-thirty, the outside world is completely dark and the only light is that of a light dimly shining a quarter of a mile away by the village church. Above, the stars shine brightly in a cloudless sky, and a satellite and the strobe lights of a passing, soundless plane can be seen among them.

Over the way, up and behind the church, in a forest ablaze with its russet fall colours where boar are said to roam among the fallen chestnuts and walnuts can be heard the owls gently hooting to each other. Except for the owls the world at that time is completely soundless, unlike where we live in Essex where the background noise is most often the wailing of emergency vehicles tearing along the nearby main road.

But, here in Beussent in the early morning, all is deafeningly quiet until a manic cockerel begins to proclaim the pending dawn and is joined by its competitors nearby. Not for a while yet do the other birds start chattering and the crows arguing, to be joined by the quacking of the ducks on the river. As dawn breaks I can see the cows in the field opposite the gîte busily and miraculously turning water and lush, green grass into milk.

The church bell tolling at six o'clock for morning mass seems to announce the start of the working day though, except for a passing car or the occasional tractor and trailer loaded with sugar beet, the world of Beussent remains a quiet and tranquil one. And, as I said before, that is just how I like it.

So I thought, as the Americans are fond of saying, I'd like to share this with you. If you want some peace and quiet in a place not too far removed from the various sights and sites of northern France, head for Beussent!

What a shame that just a few hours later I find myself back in noisy civilisation!
.

Animal Cruelty

.
One of the joys in walking our two dogs twice a day is meeting up with other dog-walkers and saying ‘hello’ to their dogs. Most often we meet the same people and the same dogs, many of which will run towards us with their tails wagging in expectation of a bit of fussing. And why not? There is always time to pet a dog!

Not everyone likes dogs and one has to respect that, but I have nothing but utter contempt for those who abuse dogs or other animals.

Three cases were highlighted just yesterday.

The first was a Northants breeder of St. Bernard’s who took herself on holiday and abandoned 99 - yes, 99! - puppies to their fate. No less than sixteen of these beautiful animals died or had to be put to sleep when their suffering was discovered. For causing this suffering to so many dogs the woman was rightly sent to prison, but for just eighteen weeks. Not enough in my book.

The second case concerned a woman from Fletching, near Uckfield, who stuffed four puppies into two suitcases which were found locked in a cupboard in the house. Though she failed to appear at Lewes Magistrates' Court, she was convicted of causing unnecessary suffering and neglect and an arrest warrant without bail has been issued with a warning that she also faces jail. In this case, it appears that last year RSPCA inspectors found sixteen adult dogs and ten puppies in a double garage with limited natural light and ventilation and hazardous conditions. At that time the woman gave up ownership of ten puppies and six dogs, leaving her with ten collie dogs, which were taken away at a later visit. So much suffering to defenceless animals!

And then, finally, a pit bull-type dog off its lead attacked a four-year old boy in a Birmingham park, causing minor head injuries to the lad. In this case, the male owner of the dog appeared to strangle it in front of the child and others, and was then seen on CCTV leaving the park dragging the apparently dead dog behind him. Such an act is hard to imagine even though the dog had injured a child.

There is no excuse of any sort for cruelty to animals and I have absolutely no sympathy for those who do so and who deserve the punishment the Courts hand down to them.
.

Bigotry & Racism

.
Among the pages of this morning’s newspapers this morning are stories of murders, child abuse, a child who died of Swineflu, strikes both actual and threatened, severe food shortages in north Korea, yet more suicide bombers killing people in Pakistan, soldiers fighting in Afghanistan, damage to Samoa caused by the recent tsunami, forest fires in Australia and many others involving death and destruction around the world.

Yet all these stories have been pushed to the back pages as this morning’s front pages virtually all feature Nick Griffin, the Leader of the odious British National Party, who was invited by the BBC to appear in last night’s ‘Question Time’ and despite the hundreds of protesters outside the studio.

Facing jeers and boos from the audience, Griffin made a poor showing and never really answered any of the questions put to him. He refused to confirm that he had denied the Holocaust, defended the Ku Klux Klan and attacked homosexuals and Muslims. Referring to the ‘indigenous people’ who he said felt shut out in their own country, he went on to say, ‘We are the aborigines here.’

Though pushed mainly on the extremist views of his party, Griffin had little time to develop what, if any, other policies the BNP had. Indeed, if they had any on the present economic condition, the health service, postal strikes, etc., etc., we didn’t hear them.

All in all, it was a sad showing and, despite the criticism of the BBC for allowing this man to take part in the programme, it did have one benefit.

The majority of viewers would most probably have been switched off by this smug person representing an odious party with no real answers or policies except that of bigotry and racism..

Wind Farms

.
It’s not often that I agree with the things that former Deputy Prime Minister John ‘Two Jags’ Prescott has to say, but his comments at the annual conference of the British Wind Energy Association is spot on in my view.

He said, ‘It is absolutely scandalous that three-quarters of planning applications for onshore wind turbines are turned down. We cannot let the vocal minority stop our move to a low-carbon economy.’ He went on to call for local authorities to be required to assign suitable sites in their areas for wind farms.

The problem, as he rightly pointed out, is that there are too many ‘not in my back yard’ folk, that block planning applications for wind farms.

Wind farms can be seen all over Europe and have become part of the scenery in many places around the world. Certainly, one has to agree that their appearance can alter the appearance of a particular scene but then so did houses and other buildings over the centuries.

If we are to do something about reducing our carbon emissions then wind farms would seem to be at least one way forward and, instead of bitching about them, they ought to be encouraged.
.

Oh My Gosh!

.
Leeds University is spending £50 million over the next five years looking at solutions to the problem of ageing.

They reckon that half of the babies being born in the UK will reach the age of 100 thanks to higher living standards, and so they believe that in the future most of the body parts that falter with ageing can be upgraded in various ways.

I’m not one of those who hail this development for it raises a number of issues, not the least of which is: ‘Who is going to pay for upgrading failing body parts?’. I just don’t see the NHS lashing out on such work and, if this is the case, then only the wealthy will benefit from something that might equally benefit the poor.

Consider also the scenario of a wealthy person of 100 who has upgraded his or her body parts to that of a 50 year-old. The thought that you might have thousands of people with Alzheimers rushing around asking people where they’ve come from or where they supposed to be going to is just too disturbing for words!
.

Surprise?

.
Watching the news coverage of the ‘flying saucer’ balloon that was supposed to have been accidentally blown away in Colorado with a small boy inside it, the thought crossed my mind that it was most likely to have been some sort of publicity stunt. And, according to the Colorado police, so it was.

I am no prophet but the whole story at the time seemed bizarre to say the least, especially when the son appeared from out of his parents’ loft.

The couple who reported the balloon’s loss to the police, and who immersed themselves and one of their sons in the resulting media frenzy, have not yet been charged with any offence though, according to the Colorado Sheriff, charges do seem likely.

If this turns out to be a publicity stunt then, although it may have achieved what the couple wanted, there may well be a heavy price for them to pay. Not only are the local police considering various charges, but the federal authorities are looking at the incident following the temporary closure of Denver Airport. In addition, child protection agencies may also have an interest in what occurred.

The possibility of jail, fines, law suits to compensate various agencies for the cost of wasted time, as well as inquiries into the couple’s child care, are potentially heavy penalties if a hoax is proven.

But, I wonder, if the couple’s actions are proved to be a hoax, may they yet still profit?
.

What Did They Expect?

.
Television news and newspapers all report that the Communication Workers Union are angry at Royal Mail’s decision to hire up to 30,000 temporary workers to help clear the backlogs caused by recent walkouts, and to help with the Christmas rush.

It is the CWU that have called a strike. What did they expect Royal Mail to do; sit on their hands and do nothing?
.

The Effectiveness Of 'Meerkat' Advertising

.
Relaxing in front of the idiot-box last night, two things struck me.

The first was that many satellite channels seem to be showing more and more trailers for upcoming features in their commercial breaks. This, I assume, is due to the recession and a fall in advertising.

The second was that how many advertisements are wholly ineffective. Your eyes glaze over the pretty young women extolling the virtue of this or that and the many strange advertisements that don’t seem to relate much to the product being advertised. Indeed in many cases once the advert has finished, you are left wondering what it was all about.

Can you remember what the opera singer who floats up into the air is supposed to be selling? Or the woman wandering the park with her dog? Or the television sets that spring to life and move around town? There are many such instances where the advertising agencies have persuaded companies to invest in expensive adverts that achieve, in my view at any rate, nothing at all.

Contrast these with the ‘classic’ advertisements such as, for example, the Hovis bread boy or the ‘Bisto Kids’.

Or, much more recently, the hilarious meerkats fighting to protect their website from being invaded by people looking for cheap car insurance. How many people I wonder actually look up comparethemeerkat.com before moving on to buy insurance?

This latter shows how television advertisements can be both amusing and highly successful. And, sadly, often more entertaining than the programmes themselves!
.

The Monks Of St. Augustine’s Abbey, Ramsgate, Kent

.
I sometimes think I was a monk in a past life (a contradiction in terms when you think about it) for I seem attracted somehow to the monastic life. Indeed, as a teenager, I once spent a week in a Carmelite monastery observing what happened there.

This came to mind recently when I read that the eleven Benedictine monks of St. Augustine’s in Ramsgate, Kent, are to vacate the 148 year-old abbey which was built to accommodate forty men. It seems that the fall in the number of vocations and the rising cost of maintaining the abbey, designed by Pugin’s son, have led to a rethink about the community’s future.

The abbey’s website - http://www.ramsgatebenedictines.com - is an interesting one for the monastic life is summarised by the Abbot, Dom Paulinus Greenwood OSB.

‘We are united in our search for a new site which will enable us to live an authentic, balanced, monastic life of prayer, work, and study, according to the spirit of the sixth-century Rule of St Benedict, and to share that way of life with others who feel truly called to it. This is traditionally characterised by the daily celebration of Mass and the seven liturgical hours of the Divine Office, the reception of guests, manual work, and various intellectual pursuits.’

Perhaps for me the core of monastic life is in the seven liturgical hours of the Divine Office. They are Matins and Lauds, the first two Offices of the day; Terce, the third hour; Sext, the sixth hour; None, the ninth hour; Vespers, the evening Office; and Compline, Night Prayers.

Curiously, the old mediaeval monastic systems, with their prescribed activities for every hour of the day, was derived from the working routines of the old Roman military - so ensuring that Roman working customs continue hundreds of years after the fall of the Roman Empire. The monastic system gave a routine to the daily lives of the monks and a sense of order.

The monks of St. Augustine’s follow some of these old routines. They rise at 0530, and Matins follows twenty minutes later with Lauds after that at 0700. Breakfast is at 0740 and then Terce at 0840 and Sext at 0900. Lunch is at 1230 which is followed by None. Vespers is at 1800, supper at 0900 and Compline at 2030.

Giving some idea of the work done in between times, Abbot Greenwood says, ‘A new Abbey will need adequate provision for a church, land for market gardening, and other dedicated work areas, especially for producing the Community’s successful range of ‘Sanctuary’ products (honey, beeswax furniture polish, organic lip-balms and skin creams), and a shop in which to display and sell them. There is also a pressing need for a practical, user-friendly structure in which to house the Community’s large monastic library.’

The Abbot hopes that whoever acquires the Abbey property will show sensitivity to its historical and architectural significance. The abbey is certainly beautiful and one hopes that its principal buildings will remain accessible to the public to admire the work of Edward Pugin son of the more famous Augustus Pugin.

The Abbey will shortly be launching an appeal to help raise the funds needed for the move, and I wish them well in this.
.

Mucky Fingers!

.
Last night I watched one of those cookery competitions where various would-be chefs try to outdo others with their culinary skills. In each case, the contestants sweated their way through producing their own meals to be tasted and evaluated by a number of judges.

There are two things that always strike me with these type of programmes and, hence, modern cookery.

The first is that the food is always, but always, extensively manhandled by the chefs’ fingers to the point where it quite puts me off, regardless as to how attractive the meals may look when finally presented. Indeed, I have stopped using those restaurants where I suspect the chef’s fingers have been used to prepare mine and other people’s meals without having once been washed throughout the evening. While a meal may look attractive when presented at the table, you sometimes have to wonder what those fingers have been doing back there in the kitchen.

My mind goes back to the days of Fanny Craddock and Philip Harben and even, more recently, the much beloved Keith Floyd. Though many might criticise these chefs, the fact is that they mainly used utensils to plate up their food and not their fingers. Contrast their method of delivery with one young chef, now a so-called celebrity chef, who is, quite frankly, mucky in all of his cooking endeavours and a definite put-off to me when seen on television, especially when nasty things such as salmonella, novovirus and swineflu are around.

The second thought is how pretentious the judges are, even when they are chefs themselves. For goodness sake, food is to be eaten and, though there is obvious merit in presenting a tasty meal which looks good on the plate, it is just food after all. I don’t subscribe to the theory that cookery is an art form and the tosh dished out by some of the judges in these type of programmes is just dreadful. Words such as ‘vibrant’ about three pieces of fish, for example, which is piled on top of one another with a few julienned vegetables thrown on top of that with a dribble of sauce around the plate just seem so out of place; the food is dead remember!

For heavens sake, bring back chefs that can prepare meals without their unhygienic, mucky fingers having been over every single item. And also food that can be simply described as tasty, wholesome and just plain good, without all the pretentious nonsense that accompanies much of it these days!
.

Poo Into Pellets

.
Now and again one comes across one of those stories that just grabs your attention.

So it was when I read that United Utilities have been successful in turning human waste into odourless fertiliser pellets. The technique was developed in Ellesmere Port’s waste water treatment works and is being used to boost maize and rape-seed crop yields.

The serious side of the project is hailed as an environmentally-friendly way to dispose of human waste. And rightly so.

There are any number of wisecracks one could use about this story but, for once, I’ve let the opportunity pass even though I was sorely tempted.
.

Reason Enough?

.
The first Speaker of the House of Commons to be removed in modern times, Michael Martin, has taken up his seat in the House of Lords as Lord Martin of Springburn.

If that isn’t a reason enough to remove all peers and replace them with a totally elected upper house, I don’t know what else is!
.

Poor Things!

.
It is said that around 500 MPs yesterday received letters from Sir Thomas Legg who headed up a panel to inquire into their expenses over the last five years. Some MPs have been asked to clarify some of their claims while others have been asked to repay some of their expenses.

Already the whinges have started as some MPs are complaining that Sir Thomas has altered the basis on which claims could be made and that they are now being asked to pay money back.

Oh dear, what a shame!
.

Deceit

.
Home Secretary Alan Johnson has accused David Cameron of being deceitful in blaming ‘big’ government for many of the social problems affecting the country these days.

Mr Johnson has unwittingly put his finger on the nub of the voters’ dilemma in the run-up to the next General Election.

And that is - which party is less deceitful than the others?

It’s quite a question!
.

Conkers!

.
Thank heavens that in this world of doom and gloom there are still some worthy eccentrics among our fellow countrymen.

For today the annual World Conker Championships will be held in Northamptonshire. Today, hundreds of harmless eccentrics will descend upon some fields near the village of Ashton and compete with each other with nothing more than conkers.

Conkers! The very word brings to mind images of our innocent youth when we would play conkers with our chums and add up the number of others’ conkers that you smashed to pieces with yours. Perhaps we were not so innocent for, if we were that devious, we would harden our conkers in our mothers’ ovens but not enough that it showed and caught us out for cheating.

Today there will be no cheating, for the members of Ashton Conker Club have prepared no less than 2,000 conkers of around 1.25 to 1.5 inches in diameter that have been drilled and threaded on to old-fashioned leather bootlaces to ensure fair play.

Conkers! We use the same word to indicate that someone is a bit barmy but not completely off his or her rocker.

The conker players today are almost certainly conkers in themselves. But we salute them for it and hope they have an absolutely splendid day!
.

Protecting The Environment?

.
NASA has successfully crash-landed two spacecraft onto the Moon in an attempt to detect water-ice there. It is said that scientists anticipated 350 tons of debris to be hurled up to altitudes of over six miles in an experiment costing $73 millions.

One hopes that NASA feels they got value for money from this programme which had the first spacecraft crashing onto the Moon’s surface at twice the speed of a bullet.

Nonetheless, 350 tons (I refuse to recognise the European interference in our language by calling them tonnes!) is a lot of rubbish.

And I wonder if there are hidden inhabitants of the Moon that would prefer that we kept our rubbish to ourselves and to concentrate on our own environmental issues?
.

Will They, Won’t They?

.
Postal workers have voted three to one in favour of a national strike over a dispute with Royal Mail over future job security and working conditions.

Royal Mail say that, faced with an annual drop of 10% in their core business of delivering parcels and letters, they need to modernise, and even the Communication Workers Union say that they understand this but that ‘it needs to be done in a way that protects workers’.

It’s hard to understand what a national stoppage will achieve except vast inconvenience and expense to ordinary people, businesses and the economy in general. Perhaps the British Chambers of Commerce have it right when they say the strike is ‘akin to a death wish’.

Personally, I doubt that a strike will take place. For one thing it would be ruinous for the postal workers themselves, let alone the country. Secondly, if Royal Mail dig their heels in and risk a major strike, then other companies may well follow suit faced with their own demands for higher wages, better working conditions and protected pensions.

Will they, won’t they? We will have to wait and see.
.

Please - Go Underwater!

.
The Maldives Cabinet are shortly to hold a meeting underwater to highlight the threat of global warming, a publicity stunt that will, hopefully, encourage world leaders to reduce carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere.

We in Britain face the next nine months or so to much party politicking in the run-up to the next election. Wouldn’t it be great if our politicians could spend the next nine months underwater and out of earshot and press headlines?
.

A Sensible Decision

.
The National Museum of Taipei is currently exhibiting a number of items from the Qing Dynasty Emperor Yongzheng, including 37 items on loan to them from the Palace Museum in Beijing.

The loan of Chinese artefacts to Taipei is said to be a sign of warming ties between China and Taiwan, and the exhibition will undoubtedly be a huge success and one I’d love to see.

But two items, both Qing dynasty bronzes which were owned by late Yves St Laurent, will not be on show for they were allegedly stolen from the Beijing Palace by invading French and British forces in 1860 at the end of the Second Opium War. The Teipei museum took the view that they didn’t want to exhibit ‘disputed artefacts’.

The decision is undoubtedly a correct one and one which will have pleased the Chinese authorities who are seeking the return of the two items which are now in the possession of Saint Laurent’s partner.

It is also an interesting decision for many museums around the world must equally be in possession of artefacts which, at one time or another, were illegally taken from their former owners.

Like the Elgin Marbles, perhaps?
.

Queue-Jumping

.
Media reports suggest that British Airways are talking to the UK Border Agency about the possibility of charging passengers £50 to ‘fast-track’ their way past long airport immigration inspection queues.

I don’t understand why this has not as yet caused an outcry among the travelling public. Why should we have to pay to get through Immigration checks quicker and, what about the potential for illegal entry and security breaches?

What we need is not more moneymaking schemes imposed on travellers, but more UKBA staff at airports so that immigration queues are not so ridiculously long as they are now.
.

Woof! Woof!

.
Former French President Jaques Chirac has rehomed his Maltese terrier, Sumo, to a farm after it bit him for the third time.

The animal, it seems, had been treated for depression after finding it difficult to come to terms with leaving the Elysee Palace and moving to an apartment in Paris.

Having owned eight dogs over the years, the thought occurs to me that, maybe, the dog just didn’t like Mr. Chirac!
.

iSnack2.0?

.
If you look for a jar of Marmite in Australia, you will have to look hard for the much-loved Australian equivalent is Vegemite which, like its British counterpart, has reached iconic status. You either love it or hate it.

So when the makers of Vegemite held a competition for a new, more creamy cheesy spread they’ve introduced they decided to call it iSnack2.0, a name they dumped after just three days because of the public outcry that followed.

The makers will run another competition for a new name and deny that the last one was a publicity stunt.

That may be true but, on the other hand, there must be few Aussies on the planet at this moment who do not know that Kraft have introduced a new spread!.
.

Only 21st?

.
According to the UN Annual Report, Norway is the best place in the world to live.

The report acknowledges that living standards in Norway have benefited from the discovery of North Sea oil and gas. That is only part of the story for maybe the impoertant part is what the Norwegians did with that money.

Those who know me will know that I am a great fan of Norway and for many years we have cruised there. The country, its road and ferry systems are extremely well-organised and they are very proud of their social services. There must be few countries in the world where cruise visitors are shown, in Trondheim if my memory serves me right, their new old folks home which is not far from the new hospital.

Britain comes 21st in the list of 182 countries and my immediate thought on reading this was why Norway, with a much smaller population than ours, was able to achieve its position when we came so low in the rankings. Is it possible that we frittered away our North Sea revenue or that they had better government?

Either way, if you are sick or old, Norway seems to me to be the best place to be.
.

Let’s Have The Referendum We Were Promised!

.
So the good citizens of Eire have voted to sign the EU Treaty, and good for them.

But what happened to the referendum that was promised by ‘President’ Blair?

It’s time we were given the referendum we were promised but isn’t it curious that none of the parties have so far said that they would give us one.

Could it be that the equally good citizens of Britain would overwhelmingly say ‘No!’?
.