Is It Something In The Water?

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A Wearside woman has lost her appeal against her conviction for breaching a noise abatement notice and faces three more counts of breaching an ASBO for the same offence.

The Newcastle Crown Court heard that the level of noise emitting from the woman’s house could be heard not only in adjacent properties but in the streets in front and back of her house. Neighbours, the local postman and a woman taking her child to school complained about the noise and the result was the woman’s conviction in November 2007.

And what was this noise? Merely the sounds of the 48-year old woman screaming in ecstasy when making love with her husband!

To prove the point, a ten-minute recording of the couple having sex was played in court which heard that Sunderland City Council had recorded sound levels of up 47 decibels.

In rejecting the woman’s appeal against conviction, the Recorder said, ‘It was clearly of a very disturbing nature and it was also compounded by the duration - this was not a one-off, it went on for hours at a time.’ ‘It is further compounded by the frequency of the episode, virtually every night.’

Blimey!

What surprises me is not necessarily the noise that the woman made when making love, but the stamina the husband appears to have. Maybe, it has something to do with the water up there in Wearside.

One thing is for certain. A television career can’t be far off!
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How Sad!

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Among all the stories of death and disaster in the Sunday papers was a reference to a Marchwood man who slaughtered his cockerel following complaints by neighbours to the New Forest Council who issued him with a Noise Abatement Order with a possible £5,000 fine if he ignored it.

The story struck me for two reasons. Firstly, because I lived in Marchwood for a time and much enjoyed the peace and quiet of the village and its proximity to the New Forest which I used to explore early in the mornings. And secondly because it was a reminder that, in reality, it is us that encroach upon the animal world; it is they who were here first.

You read these stories regularly in the papers and they usually involve the impact that rural things have on the ever-encroaching affairs of people. Church bells, rung for centuries for example, have to be silenced because they disturb the sleep of folk who have built houses close to them. Boarding kennels that were once isolated and are now a noise nuisance to the estates that have been built on top of them. Killer roads which are driven across the age-old invisible paths of badgers and deer. There are many such stories.

And roosters doing their natural thing and, sadly, destined to have their necks wrung because of it.
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